An example in my life~
When I think to myself “I choose not to judge or write stories about other people”. It means that no matter how opinionated I might be or convinced I am ‘right’……I will arrive back in my body and mind into a state of accepting not knowing . I don’t know what is happening for someone else unless they speak it to me directly. I don’t know the reason someone chooses what they do (ie: cutting me off in traffic, not returning my call etc). I can have educated guesses, experiences and feelings…..but I choose to not say my experience or opinion is the reality. I choose to simply notice how I feel and learn more about my own feelings in juxtaposition to the situation. I can then choose to ask the other person about what was happening for them or I can simply continue being ‘okay’ with the not knowing.
It can be easy to write this off as unimportant. That the act of judgement, criticism or attachment to your opinion is innocuous in the web of day to day life. But I would encourage you to dive into this as a daily practice and truly see how abundant and conditioned our minds are for doing this (and any number of other comparison and merit based evaluations of other people and life.) Spend some time noticing and questioning the most subtle thoughts and see what you find.
It amazes me that we have put people on the moon and figured out how to split atoms but yet we have not learned how to be truly kind.
{My definition of kindness is more than simply helping someone carry groceries or bring food when they are sick. Kindness is learning to see what is most vibrant in another human even when you might not even ‘like’ them……and doing this authentically without condescension}
We have not learned to simply love ourselves every moment of the day. With all of our technology, ‘progress’ and inventions, this has escaped us. Why? Why would we think truly loving and accepting ourselves to be so radical? Why when I suggest that I live in this way do I hear people say ‘that is not possible’? Or only possible for ‘certain’ people.
Hmmmmmm…….okay, perhaps a simple exercise to start this ball of questioning.
Let’s look at your definitions, start with the basics. Think of concepts you use all the time, fundamentals upon which you’ve built your life. Try not to use words until you have a definition. You’ll be surprised how much you’ve assumed about a particular idea, and how that assumption has guided your life.
You believe in “tolerance.” What do you mean by it? You believe in justice? Truth? Love? Freedom? Fairness? Ask yourself: “What do these ideas really mean?” If it’s a basic idea that shapes your world outlook, it seems a good idea to know what it means.
And once you have a sense of ‘definition’…..ask yourself where your definition originates from. Is it learned, is it an accepted social definition and if it is ‘social’…..what set or sub set of people does it relate to? All or some? Have you ever questioned it? Have you ever noticed how it makes you feel? Would you change what it has meant to you? Do you get tired just thinking about it?
Soundbodywisdom 