I thought I’d speak about my inner Love posse this morning because I have been hanging with them quite a bit this weekend.
There is a particular practice I engage on my human journey and this practice is what offers me space and navigation through the fullness of my worlds. (my ‘worlds’ would be the thoughts, emotions, inner and outer energies/stimulus).
As far as I can tell, most of us have many different aspects or parts to ourselves that can express themselves through emotions or thought processes. Each of us has our own unique buttons that trigger the array of thoughts and emotions. Sometimes these thoughts and emotions are fleeting and sometimes they persist and can be the catalyst for feeling ‘less than’ in some way. They can be the pebble that starts a whole landslide of self defeating thoughts and feelings. And even if it isn’t a ‘landslide’…..a chain of small feelings that can limit you from being present in the expansive field of Love within. This chain of events seems quite common for us as humans and can be more intense for some of us than others.
Whew….that was a lot of words to basically say there seems to be lots of times where we beat ourselves up or feel bad. Where feelings of insecurity, anxiety or anger (etc) can fuel this.
For me…in moments where I can feel ‘less than’ (for any reason) I have this inner Love Posse that comes whisking out and sorta tackles me (gently) and rolls around on the ground with me in a very ‘puppy pile’ sorta way. They tickle and roll until we are all laughing and out of breath. And at that point sitting there…..there is nothing but joy. It ‘clears the slate’ so to speak and brings everything back to center. My center…….my balance of not needing to be better than anything or anyone and also not feeling lesser than anything or anyone. A balance of feeling my unique presence in this wild mystery called ‘life’ and not being attached to any ideas, conditioning or ‘stories’. I can notice all of these….but not be attached.
My inner love posse was something that came in a ‘desperate’ moment …..a time many years ago when I felt overwhelmed by the inner chatter and thought processes. I discovered I could call a ‘time out’ with all these parts of myself that (at the time) were a bit disgruntled for a variety of reasons. When I was able to call a ‘time out’ and work creatively with that…….the puppy pile love wagon of my inner Love posse was not far behind. Now I don’t even conjure them…..they come running out all on their own.
The brain is a wild and talented entity…….when it comes to the unconscious and all the many layers of function…..it’s hard to say what is ‘me’ when you really dive in. (and that is without addressing the universe and spirit in the mix). Most things feel like leaps of imagination to me……does the ‘inner Love posse’ really exist? (It feels real.) What makes something real? Do they really have their own volition? Well, does the answer really matter? The experience….no matter how I pick it apart and compartmentalize…..is really what brings me to center and this Field of Love within me. And that is where I learn and grow.