Okay, so all this talk of love, compassion, expansiveness, inner wisdom…..yada yada. It all sounds ‘nice’ but it can just become words. Or it becomes this symbolic carrot dangling just outside of our reach.
We hear the words and then have our chain of thoughts (‘i can’t do that’, ‘yes, that makes sense’, ‘why would I make all this effort’, ‘I like the way that sounds but don’t know how to get there’ etc). The thoughts and words sometimes keep all of it ‘outside’ of us….when it truly is already within us.
So, beyond the warm and fuzzy idea of it all, why bother? Why dive into our awareness and perhaps disrupt our internal status quo? Why bother to question anything?
For myself, it is about taking responsibility for this incredible energetic entity called ‘me’. I feel like I am both this expansive energy beyond labels and also a human being with personality and ego. Both aspects are amazing to me and I strive to find a balance between them.
What I have discovered is that my expansive energy doesn’t really need to judge or criticize…..participate in the ‘greater than/lesser than’ model. My expansiveness is a wide open field of possibility. (this expansiveness feels like the realm of the ‘heart’ to me)
My human being-ness with mind, personality, opinions and ego…….it does an amazing job of compartmentalizing, figuring things out, writing stories and so much more. To live in this world I need so many of the critical functions of this aspect of ‘me’.
I feel like I need both heart (expansive energy) and mind (attachment and details)….but they need to be in balance. They inform and support one another as I walk in my life.
The reason I bother with any of this is that being connected to this place of expansiveness within myself…….I experience less struggle.
I feel less inclined to engage ‘us and them’ mentality or divisive forms of competitiveness. I am less likely to make other people (or parts of myself) adversaries even when I don’t like their personality.
I don’t feel as inclined to figure other people out, write a story about them, be ‘right’ (or wrong), diminish or elevate one or another or myself……
….and this has felt liberating….freeing…invigorating.
When I speak with people (youth and adults) around the globe I ask them to imagine, hypothetically, a world where ‘judgement’ and feeling ‘bad’ about yourself doesn’t exist. Most people express a true joy in imagining this……but then follow it up with ‘it can never happen’.
I wonder …why?
Why can’t it happen?
I see the difference it makes in my life and those around me when I choose to live with less ‘judgment’, criticism and constantly engaging in ideas of someone being ‘greater than’ or ‘lesser than’ another. I choose to connect to the expansiveness and not just live in the compartments of ‘mind’, survival and personality.
So I ask myself …what can get in our way of choosing this?
Often the things that get in the way are connected to attachments and comfort. Attachments to ideas and ways of being. These attachments seem to create a sense of safety through their ability to give us guidelines or our basic foundations. And they are often conditioned from early in our lives.
Think about how what you believe to ‘know’ about yourself and also what you believe you know about others…..the world….how this creates a vehicle of feeling safe, confident or a sense of stability. It’s interesting.
Now imagine letting go of all of them….
Just take a breath and see if you can create space within yourself to not feel these concepts of self and the world anchoring you. (It isn’t easy, but see if you can glimpse it for a moment)
Now, notice where you get ‘stuck’ or feel attached.
Ask yourself ‘why’?
Notice what you notice….
And, without judgment………simply accept and love whatever it is…….without critique.
These little glimpses are your personal gems or insights. Tuck them away as you continue this practice and keep taking notes….and asking questions. You will be surprised how your inner compass or wisdom begins to kick in and help guide you in this work.
This simple practice of awareness and questioning (while listening without judgement)…….it’s a tool for getting to know yourself in new ways (sometimes unexpected ways) and showing up with love and compassion.
Sometimes just taking the time to question, listen and take notice allows us to embrace our own expansiveness….beyond labels.
Why not connect to your inherent sense of balanced confidence, compassion and authentic unconditioned love?